7 Warning Signs that Your Relationship Is in Trouble

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Woman Looking at a Man Sitting Beside HerRelationships go through phases, and it’s important not to confuse the weather–the storm–for the overall climate.  But sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between the normal flow and progression of a phase with signs that something’s breaking down. If we miss early warning signs, it can come as a complete shock if things break down to the point of being irreparable.

Here’s the stuff to watch out for:

1.  Your partner doesn’t touch you as often.   It’s normal for affectionate, casual, or even sexual touch to decrease a little as you move out of the passionate honeymoon phase of the relationship and into a more long term, settled phase.  But if your partner isn’t reaching for you, seldom or never initiates touching, and starts bypassing casual caresses or hand-holding, chances are, they’re not feeling the connection.

2.  You don’t spend any quality time together anymore.  Life can be busy and hectic, and without realizing it,  days and even weeks can pass without putting in quality face-to-face time with our loved ones. But being together is important to maintain you sense of connection to your partner. Make time for each other.

3.  Eye rolling.  In a fascinating experiment, the degree of eye-rolling in a relationship was found to be a very good predictor of whether or not the couple would break up. Eye rolling can become a reflexive response we don’t even realize we’re doing–but it’s devastating to the other person. It’s disdainful, disrespectful, and conveys a clear message that you’re not taking your partner seriously. So the next time you catch yourself rolling your eyes – STOP! What would happen if you smiled instead?

 4. The TV is always on and you don’t really talk anymore. This is more about a change of pattern than it is about a behavior. Some people are naturally quiet and need alone time to wind down and recharge. More extroverted types may want to talk almost all the time. Something’s wrong if one of these patterns changes within your relationship. If you used to talk and now you really don’t. If you used to watch TV together, but now you’re watching separate shows in separate rooms.  If you used to never watch TV but are now using it to avoid connecting with each other. Heads up.

5. No sex.  Put bluntly, unless you guys started out platonically, a cessation of sexual intimacy is a pretty sure-fire sign your connection is suffering. It’s normal for things to slow down as your relationship matures, but it’s also important that you still feel and express your attraction to one another. Sometimes  we just haven’t made the time, or can’t get relaxed enough–these are things you can fix. If you’re getting signals your partner doesn’t WANT things to be fixed, it’s time to start talking.  Like, yesterday.

6. It feels like a struggle. The relationship feels difficult, it doesn’t flow anymore. Communication doesn’t come easily or  naturally when you do talk, or you always seem to end up fighting or feeling frustrated. This is a sure sign that your relationship is suffering and you need to take action (see below).

7. You lose sight of each other in the everyday grind. Responsibilities and to-do lists can zap even the most energetic among us. But when this happens, the romance of your relationship can fizzle..  Left unaddressed, you can eventually lose sight of why you fell in love in the first place.

 

So now what?

First, don’t panic. Most problems are fixable with good communication, but if you approach your partner buzzing with fear and anxiety, you may do more harm than good.  So take a moment to regroup. Breathe. Trust in solutions.

Getting The Connection Back and Ramp Up the Romance

 Remember the fun, romantic things you used to do together at the beginning of your relationship?  Do more of those again. Laughing together ALWAYS builds connection, as does touch, talking, playing games, being together outdoors–even activities that take you a bit outside your comfort zone but closer TO your intimacy zone.

At the same time, do your own work on YOU. Each of you have a responsibility to yourselves as well as a commitment to each other, and that responsibility means self-care, managing your own emotions, growing and holding boundaries, and finding happiness and joy within. No partner, no matter how well-matched or amazing, can make you happy for you. It’s an inside job. When you are your best self, you are, quite simply, a better partner.

To find out more about exactly what you can do to raise your V.I.B.E., go HERE.

Toxic Men and Proper “Training”

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Is your relationship with your guy toxic?

“Toxic” is a word that gets tossed around a lot without really being defined, but let’s say that for our purposes, “toxic” here implies that you repeatedly allow yourself to be taken advantage of, devalued or hurt, or that your guy is consistently unkind to you and doesn’t seem to care about what you might be feeling.

“It’s not like he beats me or anything!”

Okay, don’t even go there. Someone does not have to hammer on you with their fists to be abusive.  Withdrawal of affection, verbal criticism, social isolation, belittling and control are all ways of abusing another human being. And not a single one of us deserves it.

Why do we stay in relationships that hurt?  Take a look at this short video of Rori Raye, a fantastic relationship coach, explaining why women can find themselves drawn to toxic men and relationships.

Even better, learn how you can train men to treat you better–just the way you’d train a dog.  Yes, really!

Toxic Relationships and How to “Train” Men ~ Rori Raye Video

Speak Your Truth to Create More Passion

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What it means
Speaking your truth simply means bravely sharing with your partner how you truly feel. It’s being honest and open within your relationship, and staying true to yourself. It has to do with knowing yourself – what you value, what you need within a relationship, what you can contribute – and then sharing that. Often it is easier said than done. And when you don’t speak your truth you may find that you have lost yourself in the relationship. Distance can grow and intimacy can be blocked when partners do not feel able to share their truth.

It takes a lot of courage to speak your truth. Sometimes it is hard to even know what your truth is! You may find that you have lost touch with how you really feel inside, with your passions and your zest for life. You may not know how you feel about your relationship, so how can you express that to your partner? (Actually sometimes it is just fine to say you don’t know how you feel, and that IS your truth at that time). Honesty opens the way for intimacy.

Signs that you are NOT speaking your truth
Some signs that you are not in alignment with your truth may be that you feel irritable, aggravated and dissatisfied a lot of the time. You may feel angry at your partner and not know why, or perhaps you find yourself griping and picking fights over minor things.

When you are feeling terrible and angry and you are not sure what it is about, it’s a good idea to take a step back and go inside yourself. Is it really about something ‘they’ are doing? Or is it something inside of you? Often we can unconsciously take our own resentment and anger and channel it towards our partner by making it about them or something they are doing. We can create all kinds of drama this way. Often this is the easier option, rather than going inside to explore what is really going on.

How it feels when you are not speaking your truth
This reaction feels like a lot of resistance, drama, pushing and pulling, blaming and struggle. It is in the head / over thinking, and is based in fear.

Signs that you ARE speaking your truth
Often when you go inside and get in touch with your truth all the drama will just melt away. The issue you had with your partner will very often resolve itself, or, if you discover that there really is something that you need to discuss with them, you will be able to do so from a calm and non-judgmental place.

How it feels when you ARE speaking your truth
When you find your truth this will feel like a release of tension, it will feel calm, good and strong. This is based in the heart and has to do with feelings / intuition. It is based in love.

When You Speak Your Truth You Can Handle Anything!
Even if there is a difficult situation to deal with or a tricky conversation to be had, YOU will feel OK in yourself. Often you may find that there is no need to share your truth with your partner, just finding your own feelings is enough. However real, open and honest communication can do wonders for the intimacy and passion in your relationship.

To find out more about how to connect with your truth and raise your vibration to get even more passion GO HERE

When everything operates from a ‘nice’ level we often miss the chance for real connection. However difficult and awkward speaking the truth is, once you do it is like opening a floodgate to intimacy. Your partner will respect you and real emotion can flow. It will also make them feel safe because they will feel that you are speaking your truth. This creates a safe environment and can inspire them to share too.

So, find and speak your truth today to ramp up the intimacy and passion in your relationship.